i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
