um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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