Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
