She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
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So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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