I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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