Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
