A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize