dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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