Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
