Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
