i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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