Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
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I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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