4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
