I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
