Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
