and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
