I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
