I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
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He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
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drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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