guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
