So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My vagina is officially offended.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
