If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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