I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
