I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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