you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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