There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
