Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
