I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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