Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
