i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
