There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
