I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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