If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
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