yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize