John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
