I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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