all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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