ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
where does the pee come out of this thing
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
