White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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