I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
