Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She said her name was "party"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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