I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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