I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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