i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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