His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
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