How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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