Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize