found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Will exercising make me less horny?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
