What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
