So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Randomize
