is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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