was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize