That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
