can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
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Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
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She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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