quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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