okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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