i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
