SEEEEXXX PLEASE
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
