Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
